


He's Making A List And Checking It Twice

by LibKat



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fluff and schmoop, Inspired By The Santa Clause (Movies), JBO Advent calendar 2020, Jaime Brienne Online Advent Calendar 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:21:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28278306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LibKat/pseuds/LibKat
Summary: What can you do when Lord Snow gets hurt in your family room on Winterfest Eve?
Relationships: Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth
Comments: 23
Kudos: 79
Collections: Sevenmas & Other Winter Holidays





	He's Making A List And Checking It Twice

**Author's Note:**

> This is my contribution to the JBO Advent Calendar. I hope all who celebrate are having a joyous holiday season and that everyone in all the fandoms is keeping themselves safe and well.
> 
> Disclaimer: A Song of Ice and Fire, Game of Thrones, and these characters belong to a whole bunch of people who are not me. I will return them undamaged when I am finished playing with them.

Selwyn crept gracefully for a man his size around the comfortably cluttered family room. There was a large Winterfest tree in the corner, bright with lights and store-bought ornaments. The kind of tree that indicated that perhaps the house’s occupants had not been fully celebrating the season for very long. Or they had lost all their treasured keepsakes filled with history in a fire or flood. But the tree had a few personal touches, too. There were popcorn and cranberry garlands draped along the branches and a few homemade ornaments, the type that young children brought home from school to decorate the house. The kind that loving parents would pull out year after year until they were so tattered that they barely held together anymore.

There were two stockings hung from the mantle. The smaller one bulged with small items. The larger one was empty. 

“Well, I’ll take care of that,” Selwyn thought. He reached down to pick up his sack, knowing just the things to make the owner of the stocking smile on Winterfest morning.

Suddenly all of Selwyn’s grace deserted him. How had he missed the ottoman in his path? He waved his arms for balance, his sack flying from his grip as he tumbled noisily to the floor, turning his ankle despite his sturdy winter boot.

Selwyn buried his face in his hands as he heard two pairs of feet hitting the floor above him and a voice piping out, “Daddy, what was that?”

“Stay in your room, Tommen!” a deeper voice answered, a thread of panic lacing the tone.

“But, Daddy, what if it’s Lord Snow?” The smaller feet pattered on the ceiling over Selwyn’s head.

In his 25 years of being Lord Snow, Selwyn had never woken a parent while making his holiday rounds.

“Tommen, I said wait!” the man’s voice called out urgently.

But children have a mind of their own on Winterfest Eve, even quiet, shy, obedient children like Tommen Lannister.

The boy pelted down the stairs. His father came in hot pursuit, waving a baseball bat, ready to face anyone who might bring harm to his child.

The boy skidded to a stop at the entry to the family room. “Lord Snow,” he breathed.

Wonder lit the little boy’s face as he took in the large scarlet and grey-clad figure spread awkwardly on the hardwood floor. Even with his ankle swelling and pulsing with pain, this was the best part of the job for Selwyn.

“Who the hells are you, and what are you doing in my house?” Jaime Lannister had been on and off the naughty and nice lists many times in the years Selwyn had been Lord Snow.

“Daddy, it’s Lord Snow,” Tommen stated the obvious.

“Tommen, go to your room _now_ ,” Jaime ordered, keeping the bat raised and his body between Selwyn and the little boy.

But, Daddy …”

Tommen never managed to get out his objection. The chimney blurred and distorted. Before it was even finished, Selwyn could hear her voice.

“Dad, what’s taking so long? We’re going to get behind schedule if you take this long at every stop.”

“What the fu…fudge?” Jaime Lannister caught himself and amended his language for the little pitcher in the room. His dark green eyes grew huge as he took in the woman who had _magically_ appeared from his chimney.

Selwyn tried to consider the picture his daughter made objectively, from her tousled blonde hair to her boot-clad feet. She must have stood an inch or so taller than the man gawping at her. Dark jeans covered her long legs, and a puffy coat added bulk to her already muscular frame. Her cheeks glowed brightly from cold, and her blue eyes were still the most beautiful things in the world, as far as her father was concerned.

“Dad,” Brienne cried out on seeing him on the floor, “are you all right? What did this fool do to you?”

His daughter knelt next to him, between him and the man and boy who were gaping at her. Everyone was so ready to defend their loved ones tonight.

The baseball bat dropped unheeded to the floor. “How did you … what is happening?” Jaime Lannister swayed for a moment as though he was going to swoon.

Tommen took advantage of his father’s distraction to move a step closer. “Are you one of the Children of the Forest?” he asked. The boy’s own green eyes, peridot to his father’s emerald, shone in the light from the Winterfest tree.

Brienne smiled gently at the little boy. “No, sweetling, Lord Snow is my father. I’m helping him tonight with his deliveries. I do it most years. All the Children of the Forest are resting after working so hard to get things ready for tonight.”

Brienne’s attention came back onto Selwyn. What happened, Dad?”

“I tripped like an old fool, Starlight, twisted my ankle pretty bad.” Selwyn gestured down towards his right foot.

“Do you think you can stand?” Brienne reached down a hand to help Selwyn up off the floor.

“Gotta try to. A lot of kids waiting for me to come by tonight.” Selwyn levered himself up with his daughter’s assistance. 

_Fu … fudge that hurts!_

“Nope, gotta sit down,” Selwyn ground out.

“Okay, Dad, I’ve got you. Two steps to the sofa.” Brienne put her arms around him to support him for two agonizing steps, then gently lowered him to the couch cushions. She pulled the offending ottoman over and lifted his injured foot onto it.

“What is happening here? What is going on?” Jaime Lannister closed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. He shook his head twice. As he opened his eyes, his face fell as he took in the unchanged scene in front of him.

Brienne rolled her eyes at him. “Lord Snow has had an accident in your home, Mr. Lannister. Now, would you please stop standing about like a pillock and get my father some ice for his ankle?”

Brienne turned dismissively away from the handsome fellow, having given him his marching orders. Selwyn couldn’t help himself. He smiled through the pain of his throbbing leg. “Give the boy a minute, Starlight. I’ve just turned his whole belief system upside down.”

“I reacted better when this happened to us, and I was seven!” Brienne snorted. Then her eyes became all caring concern. “I’m going to have to get this boot off to make sure you haven’t broken anything, Dad. It’s going to hurt.”

His daughter turned to the younger Lannister boy in the room. The child had retreated to a corner, his shoulders hunched, and his eyes huge. How terrible for one so young, already having suffered so much, to learn even Lord Snow could be hurt on Winterfest Eve. Brienne smiled reassuringly at the boy as the sounds of his father rummaging about and muttering in the kitchen reached them.

“Can you come here and help me, sweetling?” Brienne asked the boy gently.

The boy considered for a moment then squared his shoulders and took the first steps out of the corner where he had retreated.

“What a brave young man you are.” Brienne had just the right amount of coaxing admiration in her voice.

_She claims she’ll make a terrible Lord Snow. And she claims she would make a terrible mother! Sometimes your old man does know better, my girl._

Brienne reached for the pack Selwyn had dropped when he fell.

“Would you hold that end of the sack, sweetling?”

“I’m Tommen,” the little boy whispered.

“Tommen,” her voice gentle as she reached her arm down, down, down into the sack. “I’m Brienne. Pleased to meet you.”

Brienne drew a big duffle bag out of the pack and placed it on the floor. “Tommen, can you put this sack over by the chimney for me?”

Pulling the silver drawstring on the crimson bag tight, she let the little boy take the full weight of the pack.

“It’s so light!” Tommen smiled in delight and gave the pack a little swing.

Selwyn couldn’t help himself. His booming laugh echoed around the room. “My sack is filled with magic, Tommen. It is always just the right weight for those who believe.”

Tommen’s father came skidding back into the room, a bag of frozen peas wrapped in a kitchen towel in his hands. He looked at Brienne laying out supplies on his coffee table and asked, “Are you sure you know what you’re doing, Miss Snow?”

“It’s Tarth, actually. Brienne Tarth. And yes, I know what I’m doing. I’m an EMT.”

The man’s mouth dropped open for a moment. Selwyn smothered a smile at Jaime Lannister managing to be handsome even when he looked like a landed trout.

“Do they have much call for EMTs at the Great Weirwood? Do the Children of the Forest injure themselves that often?” Sarcasm had often been the reason Jaime Lannister was on the naughty list.

“Brienne doesn’t live in Always Winter anymore,” Selwyn answered for her. “She lives in Kingsgate and works out of the firehouse on the Street of Steel.”

“Dad, he doesn’t need to know all that,” his daughter chided him as she took a multi-tool from her medkit and selected the smallest blade. She reached for his right foot, and then her eyes cut between the man and his son, both watching in fascination.

“Would you like something from the kitchen, Dad,” she asked, her eyes lasering her concern for the little boy. “Maybe some milk and cookies for after I get your boot off.”

“Could you and Tommen get my father something to eat, Mr. Lannister?” Brienne’s eyes moved from his foot to Tommen to Tommen’s father to the knife in her hand. It couldn’t have been clearer if she were semaphoring her message.

“Jaime. My name is Jaime.” He was staring at Brienne as if he had no idea what to make of her. Then the copper finally dropped. “Oh! Yeah! Of course, we’ll get Lord Snow some cookies and milk. Come with me, Tommen, you can help me, um, help me fix up a plate. Come to the kitchen with me, Tom.”

“If you could see your way clear to putting a drop or two of _something_ in the milk, I’d appreciate it, Jaime.” Selwyn looked longingly at the well-stocked wet bar in the corner of the room.

“Can do, Lord Snow.” Jaime detoured to pick up the bottle of brandy as he herded Tommen from the room.

“My friends call me Selwyn.”

The next couple minutes were not the most pleasant Selwyn had ever spent on Winterfest Eve. Finally, the boot was off. Brienne had confirmed a bad sprain rather than a break and was expertly wrapping an Ace bandage around his ankle. He had even managed to bite back his cries of pain. Not upsetting little Tommen was more important than a little or a lot of discomfort.

The boy came back into the living room at just the right moment, carefully carrying a plate with three Oreos as his father trailed behind with a tall glass that looked like it was far more brandy than milk.

Jaime Lannister was back on the nice list as far as Selwyn was concerned.

“We didn’t have any homemade cookies, Lord Snow,” Tommen said in his quiet little voice, “they all got burned, and we had to throw them away.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Brienne beat him to reassuring the child, “Oreos have always been Dad’s favorite. If you put the plate down on the table, I could use your help here.”

“Sure!” the boy perked up and almost dumped the cookies to the floor in his haste to help Brienne.

“Put out your hand,” Brienne dropped the clips for the ankle wrap carefully in the little boy’s palm. “When I ask you, hand me one clip at a time. But be careful; those little teeth are sharp. Can you do that?”

“Yes, Miss Brienne. I can do it.” The boy’s face scrunched in concentration.

Once the bandage was completed, Selwyn began to stand.

“What are you doing, Dad? You need to stay off that foot. Put that ice pack on it and rest. You need time to heal, even with Winterfest magic.”

“But someone has to deliver the gifts, Starlight. I can’t disappoint all the children.”

“My daddy can do it!” Tommen piped up. “My daddy can do anything!”

Jaime Lannister looked caught between being touched and appalled by his son’s confidence in him.

“Thank you for volunteering your daddy, Tommen,” Selwyn said, “But the sleigh is hard to drive, and my dragons need someone they know handling the reins. Dasher, Vixen, and Rudolph can be a little fussy.”

“I’ll do it, Dad.” Brienne sighed.

“You can’t handle everything by yourself, Starlight. Maybe you should head back to Always Winter and get Goodwin and some of the other Children to help.”

“My Daddy and I will help Miss Brienne, won’t we, Daddy?” Tommen was almost vibrating with excitement. He turned a pleading face to his father.

“Insane. I’ve gone insane, and this is all a delusion.” Jaime muttered under his breath. He was edging towards the naughty list again. But he couldn’t hold out against his son’s big, puppy dog eyes.

“Okay, Tom, if Selwyn and Miss Brienne say it’s all right, we’ll help.” Jaime turned a challenging face towards Brienne.

“That’s great!” Selwyn answered before Brienne could open her mouth. “Get the extra Snow Suit out of the pack, Starlight. You’re taking the lead tonight!”

***

Selwyn lay back on the sofa and finished off his surprisingly tasty brandy and milk. He’d have to remember the combination when he got back home. Goodwin wouldn’t be able to snipe at him since it had milk in it instead of just being booze. He reached into one of his many pockets and checked on the progress of his daughter’s first flight as Lord Snow.

The Snow globe flurried for a moment and then cleared to a view of his sleigh in midflight. Tommen was talking nine to a dozen in wonder at everything he saw as his father grinned at his son. Selwyn smiled. The little boy had been through such a terrible time last year. His selfish mother’s death, the thoughtless man Tommen thought was his father disowning him and dropping him on Jaime’s doorstep. Finding out the “step-uncle” he barely knew was his true father had been almost too much for the boy to handle. But Jaime had stepped up. They were still finding their way with each other, but tonight had shown that they would come through. They would be a family.

Brienne was keeping quiet, though, chatting with Tommen but speaking to Jaime only if he asked a direct question. Selwyn sighed.

Perhaps he had been wrong to raise her in Always Winter. If she had socialized more with kids her own age, she might have been more comfortable around men now. But that was ice under the snowpack.

Selwyn stretched his ankle a bit to test how it was doing. Of course, the injury hadn’t been as bad as it had appeared. And the magic of Winterfest was healing it faster than even Brienne knew was possible. He would be able to finish up here and still have time to snoop in on how things were progressing between his daughter and Jaime Lannister.

Selwyn hobbled to the corner of the room and waved his hand to drop the shadow spell he had put there. He opened the basket and observed the slumbering kittens, one grey, one tortoiseshell. Tommen would love them, and they would complete the healing process that unconditional love from his father and the help of a good therapist had begun. He arranged all the necessary cat owner supplies under the tree.

He detoured past the bar and poured another tot of brandy into his glass. The Snow globe was showing that Tommen had dropped off to sleep. Good, now Brienne would have to talk to Jaime.

“Hasn’t your father always been Lord Snow?” Jaime asked. “You said something about you handling the situation better.”

“Dad and I lived a normal, happy life until I was seven. Then my mom and my brother died in a car accident. Dad was so sad that he couldn’t even face doing Winterfest that year. But in the middle of the night, we heard a loud noise outside the house. The man who was Lord Snow back then was drunk and had fallen off the roof. He convinced Dad to finish that night’s flight, gave Dad his suit and the hat. The magic is in the hat. If you put on the hat, it makes you Lord Snow.” Brienne glanced over at Jaime to see how he was taking her story.

“So, if somebody offers it to me, I shouldn’t take the hat. Got it.” Jaime nodded at her.

“The hat might not work on you. You need the proper genetics. You must be a descendant of the original Lord Snow’s family bloodline, or the magic won’t work. The guy who conned Dad, Aegon, had only been Lord Snow for a couple of years. Dad tried to convince him to take the blasted thing back, but he just kept whining, ‘I dun wan it.’ Dad couldn’t stand to disappoint all the kids waiting for Lord Snow, so we finished the flight and hoped we could convince Aegon to take it back in the morning when he sobered up. But when we got home, he was gone, vanished.”

“Did he, like, dissolve or something?” Jaime looked a bit sick at the concept.

Brienne snorted. “No, he hopped the ferry to the mainland. We lived on the Isle of Tarth back then. Dad finally tracked him down after a few years. He was dj’ing in an EDM club in Pentos. Anybody who would do that wasn’t worthy of being Lord Snow.”

Selwyn chuckled at the memory of ten-year-old Brienne, already taller than Aegon by a few good inches, facing down the man who had changed their lives without a thought, sneering at his leather pants and stupid man-bun. She had stopped fighting fate and accepted all the changes in their lives after seeing that pouty slacker.

Time had passed in the Snow globe while Selwyn reminisced. The time dilation experienced in the sleigh meant that although it would be only one night in the real world, it would be much longer for Brienne and Jaime. It would be like they were getting many dates out of the way in one night.

“Why aren’t we stopping at every house?” Jaime asked, looking concerned as they flew over an upscale neighborhood in River Run.

“It isn’t necessary to visit every house anymore. Most parents take care of getting presents for their children. Dad just checks to make sure each kid is taken care of and only stops when he needs to. If the family is too poor to afford much, Dad will leave something that will make the children happy and let them continue to believe in the magic of Winterfest. Or if a child has a true heart’s wish, one that he or she hasn’t told their parents about, Dad will make sure the kid gets that present. When the parents see it, they believe they bought it themselves. All part of the Winterfest magic.”

Jaime looked back at the slumbering Tommen. “Is that why your dad was at my house? I knew there was something Tom wasn’t telling me.”

Brienne’s lips quirked up in a happy little smile. “Yes. Yes, it was. There will be a special surprise waiting under your tree.”

“What is it? No, don’t tell me. I want to be just as surprised at Tommen.” Jaime said.

“Getting greedy for that Winterfest magic, Mr. Lannister?” 

Jaime’s face glowed with emotion as he looked deep into Brienne’s blue eyes. “You know, I think I may be.”

Selwyn let the Snow globe go dark. Things were proceeding according to plan. Brienne was getting her true heart’s wish with a little push from Winterfest magic.

He went to the mantle and took down Jaime’s empty stocking. He filled it with some of Jaime’s favorite chocolates, the yoyo Jaime had wanted when he was nine, a perfect, juicy orange, and down in the bottom, a small, scuffed velvet box that contained Jaime’s mother’s engagement ring. He had thought it lost years ago, never knowing Tommen’s mother taken it when she dumped him and ran off with the man she eventually married. Even though he had wondered about it during the years of secret trysts with his stepsister, Jaime never asked her about it, afraid to know what the answer would be. Selwyn hoped that having the ring back would be the final proof that Jaime was ready to move on to the next phase of his life.

Dawn was breaking as Selwyn heard his sleigh land on the roof. The chimney blurred and stretched as his daughter, and the Lannister boys appeared in the living room again, quietly laughing together. Brienne carried a drowsy Tommen in her arms. Jaime had his arm around her waist.

“Pancakes are just better than waffles, Wench. I’ll prove it to you. You put Tom down for a nap before we open presents, and I’ll make you the best blueberry pancakes you’ve ever had. It will change your life. I promise.”

“Do you even have a waffle iron, Jaime? If you don’t, I’ll grab one from Dad’s pack. My gingerbread waffle recipe has been handed down for generations of the Children of the Forest. You’ll forget all about pancakes once you’ve tasted them!”

Selwyn stood from the couch and took Tommen from Brienne’s arms. “So, I guess we’re staying for breakfast.”

**Author's Note:**

> The idea of broody Jon Snow morphing into the Westeros version of Santa Claus tickles me to no end. And, since it is me, I couldn’t stop myself from throwing some season 8 shade.


End file.
